Playing with my two sons at the outdoor gym in Castle Park, Colchester, I was met with a depressing but all too familiar sight.
Another dad was being coaxed into trying out the pull-up bars by his son, who looked around five years old.
His attempt was embarrassing. With much huff and puffing and flinging his legs around to gain some upward momentum, he managed what could charitably be described as one pull-up.
His son looked on and said: "It's OK you can't do it, Dad. You're old." The dad laughed, said: "I guess I am" and they trundled off together.
What really killed me was this dad wasn't old at all - early thirties, if that. He wasn't overweight. I guess he had what's called a "dad bod" - a little soft around the edges.
The term was coined by Mackenzie Pearson, a US college student, in an online article to champion the good-time boys on campus who "go the gym occasionally but also drink heavily at the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at one time" over the preened, ripped narcissists who obsess over their eight hours' sleep and nutrient-packed meals.
It has become a bit of a phenomenon stateside, with lots of women agreeing that slightly slobbish men are less intimidating, cuddlier, more fun to be with, and strangely sexy.
It seems socially acceptable for men to gain weight, especially when they become fathers, and, if the "dad bod" fad is to be believed, even socially preferable.
Certainly, there is medical evidence men start to pile on the pounds in fatherhood. Early this year a National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey by the Centre for Disease Control in the US looked at about 5,000 men and women and noticed an observable trend: Men who were two years and above into fatherhood put on about 10 pounds (4.5 kg) in weight.
In July this year a study published in the US edition of Men's Health magazine found more compelling evidence for the fatherhood effect. Dr Craig Garfield and a team of researchers at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine studied 10,253 men over a 20-year period.
They found a 2.6 per cent rise in body mass index (parameters of a healthy body shape based on your height and weight) for fathers who lived in the same house as their children.
The average non-dad was actually found to have lost weight over the same period.
So the dad bod exists, but the ramifications of it are not as cuddly and cute as Miss Pearson and her friends might think. Garfield has his concerns that the habits of the father may rub from off on his children.
A busy dad may feel it's OK to grab fast food because he has a hectic lifestyle and no time to prepare a healthy meal, and perfectly fine to slump in front of the TV to unwind from the day's stresses, but soon these will become ingrained habits and very noticeable ones to impressionable children.
He may say all the right things, tell his kids to work hard, make the most of their lives and stay healthy, but every dad should know that one day their children will follow their example and not their advice.
Returning to the dad I saw in the park, let's be clear I am not saying this man is a bad father. He's taken his son to the park for a start, which is to be applauded, and it was obvious the two had a bond. However, his lack of physical fitness and his acceptance of it concerns me.
I'm a personal trainer and I can do pull-ups for fun and I'm now well into my forties. When my kids were younger they used to hang on to my legs and I'd pull them up with me. I'm not trying to brag - there are plenty of people out there, men and women, fitter and stronger than me - but I want to be the fittest and strongest version of me I can be.
This is not some vain, self-obsessed pursuit. I want to be strong and healthy for my family. I want to show my children that health is a habit that needs to be worked at every day and I want to be strong enough to protect them from whatever challenges come up.
It's very likely that the dad at the park gym is just as protective of his children - after all it's an instinctive, primal bond. However, maybe his way of doing it is putting all his energies into a challenging job, which pays him well enough his children never want for anything, but leaves him physically and mentally spent come the weekend.
If that's true, then he's one of many thousands in the county. Is that a good excuse then for all the dad bods, don't these people deserve being cut a little slack considering all they selflessly do for the ones they love?
I believe, what they deserve is some help. They need to understand that a daily exercise regime, rather than impinge on an already stressed weekly workload, will help build the energy, confidence and stamina to attack that workload.
Start off slowly, especially if it's been a while since you last exercised. Even just a brisk 15-minute walk, you'll find, is amazingly energising. When I am feeling worn out and lacking the energy to complete the tasks for the day I run through a 10-minute series of stretches and bodyweight exercises such as push-ups, planks and squats while maintaining steady deep breaths in through my nose. In 10 minutes I go from exhausted to energised.
While I've been espousing the dedication required to commit to a daily exercise regime, you'll notice the effects just about instantaneously. Getting active for just a short period each day will boost your mental and physical health.
Your mood will improve, you'll have more energy during the day and will sleep better at night, your stress levels will drop, and the pressures of the day will seem more manageable.
Progressing from brisk walks to mastering your first pull-up will take time but it will come. The key is consistency. Keep to a plan and you'll make progress.
You'll notice it - and so will you're kids. No longer will going to the park with them mean letting them run wild while you sit on a bench with your smartphone. Now you'll be running with them, climbing trees, playing football - just making the most of the gift of being a dad.
It's time to Ditch the dad bod and get fit to be a father.
The best exercise to do to get strong to lift your kids
The goblet pause squat
Lifting up your young children is brilliant. They love it, you love it, but it's crucial, for their safety and yours, that you do it correctly. The key is to get low to pick the child up by dropping the hips while keeping the knees back so they do not extend over the toes. In this way you can gain leverage for the lift without having to round the back - which is where the danger lies.
The goblet squat is ideal because it gets you to practise with a weight in front of you - as you would have picking up your child. If you've got a kettle bell or dumbbell to hand, that's great, but you can use a small rock, a bag of sugar or anything of a manageable weight you can keep a grip on.
Place your feet hip distance apart with toes pointing forward. Drop the hips, keeping the knees back, to pick up the weight. As you grip it, retract your shoulder blades and keep the back tight as you drive through the heels and bring the hips forward to come to a standing position.
Curl up the weight with our arms so you cradle it close to your collarbone. Brace your core by pulling your navel into your backbone and drop into a squat as a before. Aim to drop to a depth where your hips are parallel with your knees. If this is uncomfortable or impossible to do without rounding your back come up to a position where you can maintain a straight back.
Hold this position for a count of three then drive back to your standing position. By doing this you are building your hip mobility by getting used to that bottom of the squat position, you are strengthening your core in maintaining a straight back while supporting a weight in front of you and you are building lower body strength in powering up into a standing position.
Do four sets of 10 repetitions with a 90-second rest between each set. Soon your child will feel as light as a feather!
Best exercise to help you keep up with your kids
Hill sprints
If whenever you take your children to open spaces such as parks and the beach they bolt off and even thinking about catching them up is exhausting you need to try hill sprints. They will build speed and lower body strength. Once most people pass the age of 30 they think the days of running full pelt are gone - a jog is fine, but few open up into a sprint.
Let me tell you there are few things that make you feel as alive as running as fast as you can - and the incline means it's far easier on the knees than running on the flat and can even help build connective tissue strength in the lower body, helping to protect from injury.
The sprints should be short in duration, around 8 to 10 seconds, and five or six at full intensity is plenty. Make sure you give yourself adequate time to get your breath back before beginning another. This can be anything from 45 seconds to two minutes-plus, depending on your fitness. When I do hill sprints, I usually use the walk back down the hill as my rest period - definitely don't run back down the hill, that would not be so kind on the knees.
Don't do hill sprints more than twice a week as they do require some recovering from and make sure you warm up well prior to sprinting. If you would like a free video guide on how to warm up for hill sprints, email me at markoffitness@gmail.com
The best exercise to ensure if there are few falls when you're playing with your kids, it's them and not you
The side plank
This is an excellent exercise for building core strength and improving your overall balance. If you're in the woods with your children tiptoeing over logs to cross streams while carrying a bag on one side or even one of your children this move will ensure you stay upright.
Start by lying down on your right side, keeping your legs straight. Next, raise yourself up on your right forearm; your body should form a straight, diagonal line from head to toe. Your hips and knees should be off the floor. You can raise your left arm straight up or even your left leg to make it more challenging. For beginners it is best to hold the up position for 10 seconds and then rest for the same time. Try for the five rounds in the up position and then swap sides. As you get stronger you can start maintaining the side plank position for longer.
Best exercise for building towards pull-ups
The recline row
Pull-ups are tough but being able to lift your own bodyweight means you'll be able to impress your kids with your tree climbing skills, make short work of the park monkey bars and develop that V-shape back which is a sure sign your banishing the dad bod.
However, if you can't currently do any, or just one or two, best to hammer out the recline row reps.
In the gym position yourself under a barbell (the Smith machine is ideal) or grab the handles of a suspension trainer such as TRX (most gyms have a version of these). Alternatively, just head for the woods and pick a sturdy tree branch which is at around chest height.
Grab the branch with an over hand grip and ease down under the bar so your body is in a straight line at around 45 degrees and your heels are pressed into the ground. Keep the back tight in this bottom position then pull your chest to branch, bar or cables. return under control to the bottom position, maintaining the body's straight line. Try for four sets of 10 reps. When these become no problem, you're ready to move on to more testing pull-up progressions.